In between sending out resumes & being rejected and tending to my house & kids properly, I have fancied myself a creative type. Working on quilts, baking bread and scones (which, side note, are pretty awesome), holding a make-shift daycamp in my house, writing, and adding to the many screenplays in my head (oddly, no studio has plucked them from my head and brought them to the big screen yet). While we are getting desperate for another income, I have stayed quite strong throughout and am proud that I have found some fulfillment and creativity during this time. And then my fat has to come in and ruin everything.
|A larger fish would have been more slimming.|
I think what gets my goat the most about being overweight is that it seems to overshadow many of the positive turns I've taken. Having great kids, an incredible husband, awesome friends, a sense of humor, and the ability to stay strong in some intense times is somehow dimished by my size 16 jeans.
I really want to wax on about the unfairness of it all, but I am going to continue on with the joyfulness I feel now. I will still unabashedly go fishing in my flowerly, frilly swim suit with my kids. And I will catch teeny tiny fish that make me appear even larger than I am. But I will try (again) this summer to get the weight down. I don't want my appearance to outweigh (literally!) anything else I do. Brad wants me to write down my current weight and post it on the wall to track my weight loss, but I didn't want to share that with him. I thought posting a picture of me in a swim suit on my blog made more sense. So...in a few months, I will post another picture to show any changes in my shape and how I accomplished it. Or I'll get a bigger fish.