The Heart of It

Five years ago today, I married my husband, Brad. It was a nice ceremony with about 85 guests. Of course, I still look back on what I should have done differently as far as food or entertainment or general pomp. While I regret not spending enough time with certain guests, a day doesn't go by that I don't thank my lucky stars that I got to marry this man.

It seemed I'd already lived a full life (previously married with a 6 year old daughter), so I was well into my mid thirties the day we said our "I do's." And from that moment we were off and running. In our five years of marriage we've had two sons (15 months apart), moved homes, experienced a scary car accident (Brad's sweet dad), lost two jobs (and both were mine, thank you very much), lost a parent (my dear dad), hit below rock bottom financially (blessed to have family that kept us floating), and dealt with some minor health issues.  And here we are.  Together and pretty darn strong.

At times I'm sorry that we never knew each other in our earlier years.  I wish we'd been younger together so that we could have experienced truly starting out together.  And I worry that, because we found each other later, we won't have as much time together.  I really want to celebrate our 50th anniversary like my parents did.  (Another reason I need to get my blood pressure under control!).  I know this regret and worry is ridiculous.  Especially when I can already look back on an exceptionally long list of ups, downs, goods, bads, laughter, tears and everything in between. 

Brad was my comfort through the births of our two boys.  He supported me through a tough layoff from a job I'd had for several years.  He sat on the kitchen floor with me while I tried to absorb that my father had died.  He laughs at my jokes (most of the time).  Somehow he still finds me attractive, and even though I have told him numerous times that grabbing my butt when I'm getting something out of the freezer is not exactly a turn on, I'm glad that he doesn't stop doing it.  Brad consistently picks up my slack...pretty much always. 

I am grateful that we have so much laughter ringing through this house. Some screaming too.  But usually after we have reprimanded a kid for hiding from us under a cushion for 15 minutes, we typically can sneak away for a snicker.  I'm confident that my kids will know how to love and how to be in a solid relationship because of the example we're setting.  And that's really all it's about, isn't it.  Not the timing or the quantity or the stuff accumulated.  But the heart of it all is how this time, right now, is spent.

So Happy Five Year Anniversary to my husband.  And Happy Right Now.

I love us.